Love and Death
by KatyRegina
Summary: Based after the 2003 Anime, Ed and Al return home to greet Winry and Pinako, only to find that Winry is about to commit suicide because she thinks Ed and Al are dead. This is my first fanfic and it's finally completed. Reviews are much appreciated! -Katy Regina
1. Chapter 1

"I can't do this", Ed mumbled to himself. "It's just Winry. What the hell am I so worried about?" Ed sat on the train, looking aimlessly out the boxcar window watching the the rural scenery pass by in a trail of color. Alphonse slept soundly on the seat across from him. His now human chest rising and falling with each gentle breath. Seeing Al returned to his normal form was...heartwarming. Ed's undying love for his younger brother was unlike any human love. Alphonse was his best friend and only remaining family. After watching Al die, Edward promised to never let anything happen to him again. Ed smiled. His brother, although back to his 10 year old form, had grown up so quickly. Al had seen death and corruption, yet through it all he still had a selfless heart and cared for his brother more than anyone. "I'm glad you're back Al," Ed whispered. "Lets just hope Winry is glad, too." Ed knew she would be glad. Winry cared for both Ed and Al. They were like her extended family; the brothers she never had. But that's what worried Ed. She saw him as a brother, and he saw her as something more.

"Wake up, Al. We're here." Alphonse blinked his sleepy eyes and looked out the window. The train had stopped, and outside stretched the only place they both could call home. Resembol. Ed picked up the two suitcases and exited the train. Al smiled and jumped off. This would be the first time Al was in Resembol in his human body since the night of the failed human transmutation of their mother. Ed knew that. They had come so far since that terrible night. Ed, an ex military State Alchemist. Al, no longer a 7-foot tall walking suit of hollow armor. Things were...back to normal. Or as normal as they could ever be. Ed and Al walked along the long dirt path that led to the Rockbell residence. They had come here dozens of times while on their search for the Philosopher Stone. Mostly because Ed had broken his automail so many times and Winry and Pinako were the best automail mechanics he had ever known. They were the only mechanics Ed trusted. "Brother, do you think Winry and Aunt Pinako will...remember me?" Al sounded nervous. Worried. Ed peered down at his little brother. He half smiled. "Of course, Al. Why wouldn't they?" Al looked down at his human hands and flexed his fingers. "It's just that...I haven't been human in so long...it feels strange. I'm...scared." Ed's smile faded. Al had lived as a soul transfer in that empty suit of armor for 4 whole years. Never eating. Never drinking. Never feeling. He was a hollow chunk of walking metal. Ed clenched his fist. He would never forgive himself for ever hurting Al in the first place. Even though Al was human now, that didn't change the past. Watching Al die right in front of his eyes...the memory still gave him chills. Still haunted him in his nightmares. "They'll remember you, Al. No one could forget that baby face of yours anyway." Ed chuckled. Al furrowed his eye brows. "Hey! I'm not a baby! I can still fight!" Ed laughed. "I know you can, Al." Al looked up at his older brother and smiled. They both laughed and continued walking up toward the Rockbell's house.

Knock knock knock. Ed and Al stood back and waited for the door to open. Seconds. Minutes. Hours? Ed knocked again. Winry and Pinako were always to the door quickly, especially at the expense of the Elric brothers. Ed turned the door knob. It was locked. "Brother, where is Winry and Aunt Pinako? Pinako never leaves." "I dunno Al, but I'm going to find out." Ed clasped his hands together, automail to flesh, and then laid his hands on the door. Blue sparks rose and flicked around his hands. Suddenly, with the sound of alchemy and breaking wood, the door disappeared and an archway was provided for the boys. Ed stepped inside and Al followed behind him. The Rockbell residence was empty. Not a single light was on yet nothing seemed out of place. Automail parts here and there, tools that Winry most likely left out on a regular basis. Everything seemed to be in place, except for Winry and Pinako. Ed set down the suitcases by the couch and walked into the kitchen. Still no lights or sign the anyone was home. The house didn't appear to be empty long. In fact, it looked as if they went out somewhere. But where? Pinako never left home. Ed and Al continued to look around. "I'm going to check upstairs, Al. You look around here, okay?" Al nodded. Ed started towards the stairs and leisurely strode up them. He checked Pinako's room. Empty. The bathroom. Empty. Even the guest room where he and . Empty. Then Ed came across Winry's room.

Empty.

Exasperated, Ed let out a big sigh and sat on Winry's bed. "Where are you? Where the hell could you have gone?" Ed laid his head against the pillow and stared up at the ceiling. The bed covers smelled surprising sweet and fresh, not like automail and oil. It smelled like flowers. Like Winry. He turned over on his side and propped himself up on one elbow, scanning the room once more for any signs or clues that could hint to him where Winry was. He was worried. Winry was known for getting herself into trouble back when Ed and Al were in hot pursuit of the Philosopher Stone. He remembered that serial killer, Barry The Chopper, had Winry almost killed. Or when the Homunculus Sloth, who looked like his mother, tried hurting her. Edward clenched his hands into fists. How could he protect Winry if he didn't even know where she was. He bolted up on the bed, anger and worry crossing his face. "God dammit, Winry! Where are you?" Ed took a pillow off the bed and threw it across the room in an impulse of exasperation. He hung his head, and looked down. Then he noticed something. A slip of white paper where the pillow had just been. "Huh? What's this...?" He reached for the slip and grabbed it. It was folded in half. Ed opened it cautiously and began to read. The writing was written in cursive, but the note looked like whoever wrote it was in a hurry. The note read as follows:

_Grandma Pinako, _

_I know you're out in town getting parts for the new automail we've been working on...but I just can't do this anymore. Not while Ed and Al are...dead. My parents were killed by the military, and even though it was devastating you kept me strong and taught me to be a great mechanic. But now the only family I had left, the only other people I cared about are dead. More people I love, killed off by the military. It's too much to bear. I'm sorry, but I don't think I can continue working as an automail mechanic. I don't think I can continue doing anything anymore. I can't live...anymore. Please understand. Remember what my mother Used to say? "Go where the river flows, there you will find peace." That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to find peace. I'm sorry. I'm sorry._

_-Winry Rockbell_

Ed's eyes grew wide. His heart thumped loud in his chest and his ears. The blood drained from his face and his hands began to shake. 'This can't be. What did she mean she couldn't "live" anymore. No. This can't be. Winry is going to kill herself because she thinks Al and I are dead? Who told her that? Yes, technically Al and I both died after Envy stabbed me and Al used the philosopher stone to bring me back from the gate. But I got him back. I got all of him back. We saved each other.' Ed's mind was buzzing and he suddenly felt sick. Winry was going to kill herself over a lie. Ed crumpled the letter and stuffed it in his pocket and ran downstairs. He was going to the river to find Winry. He was going to save her before it was too late.


	2. Chapter 2

Ed flew down the stairs and headed straight for the hole that was now the door. "Brother! Where are you going?!" Al yelled after his brother. Edward didn't stop to glance back, but yelled, "I'm going to the river Al! No time to explain, come on!" Al ran after his brother out the door onto the dirt road. Al, straining to keep up with his older brother, ran as fast as he could along side Ed. "Brother! Slow down! Why are we going to the river? What about Winry!?" Ed didn't slow down, but instead picked up his speed. There was no time to stall. He needed to get to the river before it was too late. '_Unless its already too late_' the voice in his head told him. He shook the thought away. That wasn't possible. Winry would be at the river. She would be ok. Right? Ed's dark thoughts came creeping back. He had no time to waste. "We're going to the river because that's where Winry is, Al." Al, straining to keep his lungs full of air, was taken by surprise. "Brother...how...do you...know", Al said between gulps of delicious air. Ed didn't answer. There wasn't time to answer. Winry's life was more important at the moment and Al would have to wait for an explanation. The reached the edge of the river. The crystal blue water rushing and splashing. The river was awful dangerous during the fall. Its waters were cold and merciless. Al was catching his breath, too confused and tired to ask Edward anymore questions about why they came to the river in the first place. Ed scanned the surrounding, looking for something, anything that could indicate Winry was here. His eyes hungrily swept the area. '_Damn it, where is she?_' he thought to himself. Panic began to take over. Al became aware of his brother's anxiety and become nervous himself. "Brother...why would Winry be at the river?" Al asked tentatively. Ed's heart clenched. He reached into his pocket and grabbed the crumpled note. Without meeting his younger brother's eyes, Ed handed over the wrinkled paper. Al looked up, trying to read Ed's expression, but Ed didn't met Al's eyes. He stared at the ground and continued to hold out the note. Al hesitated, but reached out and took the note into his small human hands. He read it carefully, his eyes growing wide with fear and realization. "B-brother...Winry isn't...dead, right?" Al stammered out the words. Ed looked up and met Al's eyes. "I don't know, Alphonse." Al was horrified. "What are we doing just standing at the river edge!? We have to find her, brother! Lets split up, I'll search down here and you can search the hills and rocks up there," Al pointed up towards the rocky cliffs and hills that overlooked all of Resembol. Ed nodded. They boys took opposite directions. Ed knew that it would be easier for himself to look up in the hills as rocks because he could use alchemy to get up there faster. Al, being human and too small, wouldn't have fared as well as his older brother.

Ed sprinted towards the hills. "Winry! Winry, where are you?" he yelled. He ran closer and closer to the rocky cliffs that overlooked the rushing river. Ed vaguely remembered the memories he had when he and Al we younger. Summer afternoons he, Al, and Winry would sit on the edge of the rocky cliffs and look out over the area. The river, their home and Winry's home. The green hills and trees golden in the summer sunset. It was picture perfect. It was home. Ed snapped back to reality. This wasn't home to him anymore. His house had long since been burnt to nothing and now here he was, searching these very hills for the girl who shared the same memories. Now these cliffs were a reminder that the only girl he had ever been close to was possibly dead, floating down the icy water or crumpled up somewhere, lifeless. The dark thoughts were clouding his head. He called her name again and again. "Winry! Winry where are you! It's Ed!" But the only thing he heard was the echo of his own strained voice. This was getting ridiculous. _'You're too late_' the voice told. "No!" Ed screamed. "I'm not too late...I can't be too late..." Ed fell to his knees and put his head in his hands. "This is ridiculous. Winry, why do you have to he so stupid, huh?" Ed mumbled the words to himself. He sat still, head in hands, cursing obscenities to the only girl he had ever loved.

Eventually, Ed lifted his weary head. He looked up and stared in front of him. That's when he spotted something. A small, blonde haired girl, sitting on the very same edge he once sat on 4 summers ago with his brother and his love. "Win...ry?" Ed spoke in an astonished whisper. "Winry?" He repeated, louder this time. In an Instant Ed was on his feet running the fastest he had ever run toward the petite blonde. The faster he ran, the closer she drew nearer in his sight. "Winry! Winry!" He called her name. But the girl never moved. She sat still as stone, her back to Edward, her legs dangling over the cliff's dangerous edge. Now Ed was merely feet away from Winry. Her same black skirt. Her same white tank top and black jacket. Her same long, blonde ponytail. It was definitely her. He slowed his run to a walk then finally stopped. "Winry, what the hell? Al and I have been looking for you and calling your name! Why didn't you answer us?" But Winry didn't answer. She continued to stare out over the open space. Her hair swayed at the slight breeze, as did Ed's. Ed's anger was building. "Winry!" he yelled. "Hey! Why aren't you listening to me!" Still no answer from the girl. Ed's exasperation was growing. 'I don't get it. I come all the way out here to find you and you don't even speak two words?' Ed began to walk closer to her. "Look, Winry, I'm just try-" "Don't step any closer," the girl said. Her tone was meant to be threatening but her voice sounded weary and defeated. It came out as a hoarse whisper. Ed froze. "Don't step closer," she continued, "or I'll jump." Ed was now frozen with fear. "Wh-what? Winry listen, don't do anything stupid. Me and Al-" "Al is dead! And so is Edward! I'm not an idiot!" Winry turned and faced Ed, her face steaming with hot tears. She rose off the ground and was now standing, facing Edward. The space between them was barely 5 feet. "Winry, what are you talking about?" Ed's voice was gentle, but his tone made it very clear he was confused by her words. "I'm not dead. Neither is Al. We're alive. That's why we came here. So you could see Al. He's...back. He's back to normal Winry." But Winry stood there, tears running down her cheeks, her hands clenched stiffly at her sides. "You're a liar," she muttered. "Listen, we're alive," Ed continued. He stepped forward and Winry automatically took one step backward, keeping the distance between them and nearing the cliff's edge. Edward knew if he stepped any closer toward Winry she would keep stepping backward until she fell to her death. Ed had to find a way to make Winry believe him. "Who told you I was dead?" "I got an official letter from the military," she said through clenched teeth. '_A letter? Everyone knows I'm alive. Did someone send it before? Who in the military sent a letter?_' Ed, although trying to wrap this information around his head, knew he had to focus on the problem right in front of him. "If I'm dead, how can I be standing in front of you?" Ed asked. It wasn't accusatory. It was a simple question. He was trying his best to make Winry see logically that he wasn't dead, otherwise he wouldn't be here standing in front of him. "I told you," she began, "I'm not an idiot. I know you're not Edward. I know you're that homunculus. The one that changes it's appearance." 'Homunculus? Does she mean Envy? She thinks I'm Envy?' "Winry, I'm not a homunculus. I'm not some shape-shifting bastard. Winry, I don't know who sent you that letter but I'm Edward Elric and I'm alive." Winry shook her head, tear drops flying off her pale skin. "No! You're a liar!" She stepped backwards, coming deathly close to the cliff. "Winry! Stop moving! You'll fall!" Ed stepped forward ad reached his hand out toward Winry. "Winry, for god's sake take my hand." She stepped backwards once more, her heels grazing death. "Stay away from me, you imposter!" She screamed. "Winry! Stop!" Ed yelled, but it was in vain. Winry's final step was too much and the back of her left foot slipped off, causing her to lose her balance. Ed leaped toward her but it was too late. "WINRY NO!" In a surge if sheer impulse, Ed clapped his hands together and slammed them on the ground. A beam of blue electricity appeared beneath his palms and the ground shook.

Winry was falling. '_Im going to die_' she thought. She closed her eyes. This is what she came to to do, right? She was going to jump anyway, right? Because Ed and Al...they were dead right? Then she suddenly remembered the Edward she thought was Envy. Envy wouldn't be trying to save her. Envy would have just killed her. The realization was all too sudden. Then, as the reality of the river inching closer to her body struck her, she suddenly realized that Ed was indeed alive as she was about to plummet to her death into an icy river and drown right in front of him. She screamed. "EDWARD!" Then, not even as his name had fully escaped her mouth, her back came into full contact with the icy waters. She sliced trough the rushing current and crashed to the bottom, her head smashing against a large river rock. Her ears and mouth and nose were full of water and her eyes were blurred by the sand and rocks and rushing current. She saw a trail of red water surrounding her head. Blood, from the wound to her head when she hit that rock. '_This is it, all because of a lie_'. Those were her last thoughts. Then, everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3

The sparks of blue emanating from Ed's hands became stronger. The ground shook. Winry was falling to her death and he felt all but helpless. Alchemy was his last chance. Suddenly, he heard the faint splash of a body hitting water. "No!" He gritted his teeth. This was it. The water exploded, shooting up like a geyser. The entire river had shot up. _'This is my chance_' Ed thought to himself. With a leap of incredible faith, he jumped off the cliff and became engulfed in the sprays of water. As he fell, Winry's body was being shot up by the water, like a canon. He grabbed hold of her limp, soaked body and clapped his hands once more. An icy crackle was heard. The water began to freeze. Ed was going to freeze the river over, making it easier to land with Winry in his arms. The river was now frozen just as Ed's feet smacked onto the solid cold ground.

He held Winry tight in his arms. He was soaked, the ends of his red coat dripping with frozen water droplets. His breathing was heavy and his energy was spent. But he had done it. On an impulse he had saved Winry's life. He picked her up and walked to the dry area on the edge of the river. He collapsed. He was exhausted. Winry almost died. He almost died. It was too much to absorb, but he was relaxed knowing they were both safe now. He looked down at the girl in his arms. Her eyes were closed, her clothes and blonde hair drenched in cold water. Ed shook her lightly. "Winry, wake up." She didn't move. Ed shook her slightly harder. "Winry, you're safe now. You don't have to be afraid, I got you." But still the unconscious girl did not stir. "Hey, Winry! Wake up!" Ed was yelling into her ear. She didn't even so much as breathe. Ed laid her out on the dirt. He ripped open her jacket and placed his ear against her chest. Her heartbeat was a weak thud. She wasn't breathing. Ed began to panic, all signs of exhaustion disappeared from his body. He was in a state of disbelief. He had just leaped off a cliff into a frozen river to save her, and she was going to die anyway? '_No. She's not dying. Nobody is dying. I'm going to save Winry no matter what._' Ed knew what he had to do. He placed both hand over each other, his fingers interlocking, and rested them on her chest. He began pumping his hands. One. Two. Three. Four. Then he went to her cold mouth. He needed to resuscitate Winry. There was no time for hesitance. Ed placed his lips on her hers, and blew Into her mouth. Then he went back to pumping her chest. One. Two. Three. Four. Blow. One. Two. Three. Four. Blow. He repeated this pattern for almost 2 minutes. Ed's anxiety was getting the better of him. 'God dammit Winry, wake up. Wake up!' She coughed. Ed stopped pounding his fists on her chest and looked at her face. There was life. She coughed up water, freeing her lungs of the icy suffocation. "Winry!" Ed helped her sit upright, letting her cough up all the water. Ed's hands were shaking from both fear and excitement. Winry breathed, letting the crisp satisfaction of oxygen fill her deprived lungs. She wiped her mouth, embarrassed to be so close to Ed while soaked and weak. She peered up at his face, knowing full well he was going to yell at her. But when she looked in those amber eyes, she saw fear in them, not anger.

"Edward..." She croaked. He throat was raw. "I...I thought...I had no idea..." She couldn't complete her sentence. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and tightly hugged him. Edward was slightly caught off guard. He lightly put his human arm around her, expecting the hug to last only seconds. But Winry didn't release him from her tight grip. She rested her head in the crook of his neck and wept softly. Edward was taken aback by her sudden reaction. He was awkward, but them he realized the girl he loved most in the world was safe in his arms thanks to him. He wrapped both his strong arms around her and held her as she cried. This was right. This was why he came back. This was the what he was waiting for. For her.  
"I...thought you...had...died" she said between sniffles and sobs. "I thought you were that creepy homunculus...I'm sorry...I'm sorry Ed."

"It's okay. It's okay, Winry I'm not dead. You don't have to apologize."

The sat in each other's arms for a while, holding one another and seeking comfort in their mutual silence. Winry's soft crying ceased, and together they breathed, Ed stroking her wet hair. Suddenly, a young boy's voice was heard. "Edward?! Brother!?" Alphonse was running towards them, his face painted with frantic worry. "Brother! Winry!" Ed and Winry looked up Al. "Oh Winry! Brother saved you! I thought we were too late but I knew brother could save you in time." But Winry just stared at the young boy. It looked like Al, before the night he lost his body in the human transmutation. But...this couldn't be. Ed was a hollow hunk of armor. He lost his body. Then Winry remembered what Ed had said before she fell;

"_That's why we came here. So you could see Al. He's...back. He's back to normal Winry._"

Ed did it. Ed spent all these devoting his time for a simple promise to his younger brother, and he succeeded. He actually did it.

"Al...your body..." Winry was in shock. She was in awe. She was stunned. She was everything and nothing all at the same time.

"Haha yep! Brother got me back! Except...I don't remember anything about alchemy now..." Alphonse scratched his head, puzzled.

Alphonse looked back down and smiled at Winry, but his smile quickly faded when he saw gentle tears trickle down Winry's cheeks.

"Ah?! Winry why are you crying?!"  
She gave a pathetic laugh. "I'm not crying because I'm sad, Al. I'm crying because I'm happy. I've missed you guys so much," she looked back and forth between the two boys faces. "I'm just happy you're home now." She hugged Ed and Al right around their necks and let her happy tears free fall. This was true happiness to her. This was home.

The trio walked back to the house, Alphonse jumping and skipping and playfully running toward the house, utilizing his once again kid body. Ed and Winry stayed behind, Ed's red coat draped over Winry's shoulders. Ed lightly put his hand on the small of her back, a gentle but protective gesture that made Winry feel safe. Then, suddenly, she halted. Edward was taken aback by her abrupt stop, and looked down at her, concern etched into his forehead. Winry didn't meet his eyes, though. She started at the dirt, clutching the red coat close to her as a sense of security.

"Eh, Winry? Are you-"  
"I have to tell you something Ed."  
Edward was again taken aback by Winry's abrupt action, but waited patiently for her to finish. Winry finally looked up into Ed's amber eyes.

"Edward...the reason I was going to...I was on that cliff edge because...I...you see I..." She couldn't finish her thoughts. This was much harder than she anticipated.

"Winry I'm not quite understanding...?"  
"I tried killing myself because after I thought you were dead I found no reason to continue living when the person you're in love with is no longer here." She stared up into his amber eyes, her heart racing with nervous energy. She just admitted to Edward that she loved him. Was in love with him. And that she almost killed herself over him.

Edward didn't say anything for a few seconds. Then, he took his human hand and gently stroked Winry's cheek.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say that you love me", Ed spoke. Then, tentatively, Ed leaned down and kissed Winry for the first time, their lips soft and careful on each other. When they finally broke the kiss, Ed stepped back and grabbed her hand.

"Come on, lets go home." Ed said. And they walked toward the house, hand in hand.


End file.
